Fatuesi Follies: The Woeful and the Wonderful

I haven't gotten around to writing lately. A lot is going on in our family right now. We'll start with the not so good first. Pete is leaving in the next few days for his second tour in Iraq. It is so much harder this time with the little ones. Last time I was pregnant with Reilly and Steel had just turned one. He kind of missed that guy who used to throw him up in the air but it wasn't too hard. And Reilly just didn't know any different when he was born. But this time, Steel is already having nightmares and crying for his daddy because he knows he is going "to the field" soon. That is what they call it when Pete is gone for more than a day or two. Reilly loves Daddy too. He always asks if we are going to be driving "Daddy's car" (Pete's litte Acura). They both watch out the window for Daddy every day. This is going to be hard.

Matt and Connor both have things to keep them busy, and unlike a lot of the military kids their age, they have the advantage of knowing what it is like to have Dad gone a long time. I think it makes them feel like there is something wrong sometimes, because they love and miss their dad but it's just not like a lot of the other kids their age whose dads are leaving for the first time. It's hard to explain. I hope they know we understand and they don't feel guilty because they know how to keep going with things even when Dad is not here. I am so proud of my boys. I guess I shouldn't be prideful but I can't help it. They are such a blessing to us. I am having a hard time. I have been really moody lately and everything Pete says just rubs me the wrong way. I finally figured out that maybe I was just getting mad because if I was mad at him, I wouldn't miss him so much when he's gone. It doesn't work though. I already miss him.

I know we were going to spend this deployment down at mom and dad's because we thought it would be better for the boys. And when we decided to come back up to Alaska it was a really hard decision. There really was no bad choice--it was choosing between two good things. I believe with all my heart that we chose the best one. Our church, "ward" for those of you who aren't LDS, is wonderful and supportive. The Bishop had a meeting Sunday with all the spouses of husbands who are going. There were at least twenty of us in there. It is a nice support system to know others are going through the same thing. I did find out that I am one of only five women who have been through this before in our ward. It is everyone else's first time. I hope I can help them.

Okay, enough of the doom and gloom. On to the good stuff. Connor turned 14 last week and on Sunday Pete ordained him a Teacher in our church. It was really, really wonderful because it is the first time Pete has participated like that in a long time--and it was a surprise. I didn't know he was going to. What a wonderful thing. Connor went and got his Learner's Permit on Monday. His picture is cute. Not fair. Both Matt and Connor are taking a Driver's Education class so I don't go crazy worrying about them when they are driving this year. I can't believe they are both going to be driving!! Matt will be sixteen in a month and he'll have his official license. The cool thing is that because Pete is deploying, Matt and Connor each got to take the class for free! Yippee--saved me almost a grand!! They are still in the book-work stage so of course they think it is boring. But they start driving today I think.

Cole is now crawling--well he gets up on hands and knees and rocks himself forward and then does it again. He is very quick. Pete said he actually did crawl two days ago. He also has two teeth. It was last Thursday. I was going to go to the Deployment Ceremony because Governor Palin was speaking, but Cole woke up with a cough, runny nose, and what we thought was one tooth trying to break through. Needless to say, I didn't want to drag him outside for two or three hours. And by the time Pete got home Cole had not just one, but two new teeth on the bottom. It is amazing how sharp those little things are. Poor Pete was getting used as a teether last night and I thought he was going to come out of the chair. Cole was just oblivious--happily munching away on Daddy's finger. He is such a Daddy's boy. He follows Pete around the room with his eyes, just watching and watching until Daddy is ready to take him and play or sleep or whatever. I can't believe he is doing everything so fast! He's my last one and he is supposed to let me enjoy it--not blow by milestones so fast that I can't keep up. I am so glad that I am not working right now. I would be missing all of this. And I'm especially glad that I don't have to stay up late with a teething baby and then try to go to work looking all dapper. Now, if I'm totally wiped I just have to make it till naptime and I can catch some zzzz's with the babies.